Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Late Night Funnies

A few of the more funnier moments from the rounds last night:

Conan: President Obama scheduled to grant a turkey the traditional pardon on Wednesday. But a spokesman for the turkey now says it doesn’t need a pardon. It needs a job.

Fallon: Experts announce a new plan to slash the federal debt by $6 trillion. All we have to do is switch from regular light bulbs to not having a federal government.

Leno: House Democrats just elected Nancy Pelosi as their minority leader for the new Congress. Why mess with success, right?

Conan: Congressional Democrats push for $12 billion in additional unemployment benefits. They say they can’t turn their backs on those who until two weeks ago were House Democrats.

Conan: Donald Trump wants to know if people think he should run for president. So his folks launched a website called shouldtrumprun.com. Americans have responded with their own website, no.com

Conan: Oprah Winfrey is reportedly considering buying a property in New Jersey. The property is called, “New Jersey.”

Fallon: GM wants to thank all who made its recovery possible: Toyota’s brakes, Toyota’s steering and Toyota’s accelerators.

Letterman: A new wrinkle this year for Wal-Mart’s midnight store openings on Thanksgiving Friday: They’ve added bulls to the run.

Fallon: New plan out to cover $6 trillion of the nation’s debt. First, look at all the spending for the past five years. Then, ask China for $6 trillion more.

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